I’ve hidden from God countless times. I’ve run, medicated, and stuffed down any emotion that might lead me to honesty with my Father. All it ever accomplished was creating anger, defensiveness and resentment in my life. Since I’ve stopped hiding as much, my heart has become much more tender. I’ve learned to be okay with who I am and experienced freedom in so many different areas. But how do we stop hiding and let our defenses down? Let me start back at the beginning when hiding became man’s first defense.
“When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked” (Genesis 3:8-10).
Okay so I don’t think God was actually asking where Adam and Eve were physically. I mean He is God and I’m sure He knew exactly where they were. I believe He was asking where they were emotionally. Why were they hiding from relationship with Him? Look what happens next.
“Who told you that you were naked?” the Lord God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?” (Genesis 3:11).
Once again I believe God already knew the answer to that question, but was giving Adam and Eve a chance to be honest and open with Him. Instead of being emotionally honest, Adam immediately becomes defensive and places the blame elsewhere.
“The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” (Genesis 3:12).
Then Eve blames the serpent and so forth, but you get the picture. Neither one of them were honest with God about their struggles or their choices. I’m going to be brutally honest with you and give an example of what this looks like in a modern-day believers life. Mine.
Let me take the issue with tithing. I have struggled with this concept this year. I will miss a week of tithing and immediately I feel on the defense towards God. It doesn’t have anything to do with Him because I know He loves me even in my sin, but I put up a wall. I know I’m being disobedient with something I feel He has called me to do. So I hide. I hide from being honest with Him and I can feel the effects in every relationship. I start to find a way to justify my actions by finding fault with the church or trying to convince myself God doesn’t require this of me anymore.
You guys, this is so not what our Heavenly Father wants from us. He wants us to bring our disobedience and struggles to Him.
How do we stop hiding from God?
We go to God and tell Him where we are at emotionally! “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” (Hebrews 4:16).
I don’t know where we got the idea that we aren’t going to struggle or fight our flesh. It’s incredibly refreshing to me when I go to God and tell him “Look, Lord I don’t feel like tithing this week. I don’t want to give. Instead I want that new purse I’ve been eyeing.” He knows my heart anyways. Every time I go to God even after I sin I am greeted with such abundant mercy that it’s overwhelming. And when I go to Him first before I make the decision, He is pretty quick to answer with a heart change for myself.
Hiding from God doesn’t do us any favors. You and I have a good Father who wants to know the deepest struggles and hurts of our hearts. It’s taken me years to understand this concept, but it has brought so much freedom into my life. To know you are cared about is life changing and I pray that as women we would stop hiding and allow God to love us where we are at. I promise you, He won’t leave you there!